"A Civil War" is the seventh episode of the USA Network original series Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man. This episode aired on April 23, 1994.
Synopsis[]
Duckman is jealous when his kids shower Cornfed with their attention, so he fires him while working their next case, which involves the "natural death" of the owner of a Roast Beef and Waffle on a Stick factory.
Plot[]
TBA
Character Appearances[]
Music Used[]
- Frogs with Dirty Little Lips Let's Make the Water Turn Black by Frank Zappa
DVD Edits[]
When Duckman was released on DVD, "A Civil War" suffered a cut for unknown reasons.
Trivia[]
- First major role of Cornfed.
- Cornfed's birthday song is cut from the DVD version of this episode.
Quotes[]
Bob: Your job is just to sort the mail. If you can hold on to it. Cornfed: Got any napkins? Bob: NAPKINS! That's brilliant.
Bob: I didn't count on an undercover pig being on me like pee on a bum's shoes.
Cornfed: Could I use the restroom first? Bob: Sure you can't miss it. Make a right at the cow bone grinding and marrow extraction room, a quick left at the chicken squeezing ovum cracking pit & then a sharp circle round the gobstopper & gizzard suction chamber. Cornfed: I'll hold it in.
Duckman: Sorry, I didn't hear you, I was staring at your breasts.
Cornfed: I was once kidnapped by a cabal of kick-boxing Ninja who forced me nightly to play a deadly game of steel cage basketball where the losers where beheaded. Duckman: Yea... well... I bet there wasn't a shot clock.
Cornfed: Any ex-wandering troubadour slash hostage negotiator could've done it.
Duckman: Thin-skinned no-humor pansies! You tell them an ice breaker or two about women, libbers, gays, environmentalists, several minorities, the homeless, a couple of religions, anorexics, obese people, the handicapped, old-farts, baldness & people who walk real goofy cause they just had a vasectomy and suddenly they get all sensitive! Like I offended one of them or something?
Fluffy: You want our help?
Uranus: On our case?
Duckman: He was nothing but a big pink weight on my shoulders!!! And were better off without them!!!
Duckman: Suppose you're the chairperson of a large corporation. That makes meat on a stick!