Dammit, Hollywood is the first episode of the finale season.

Dammit, Hollywood

Air Date:

January 4th, 1997

Written By:

Michael Markowitz and Jeff Reno

Directed By:

Peter Shin


Cock Tales for Four


Aged Heat 2: Women in Heat


Annoyed with the current state of the film industry, Duckman goes to Hollywood to demand his $7 back. Instead, he falls into the plot of a soon-to-be deposed studio executive, a man who's looking for a patsy to run the studio into the ground in hopes of saving his own job. Duckman becomes head of Paradox Pictures, where "if it's a good movie its a Paradox". He quickly begins running through the studio's money, signs a secretary to a 340 million dollar deal to star in a movie in her underpants. The deposed executive also arranges it so that Duckman manages to alienate the studio's three biggest action stars.


  • Writer/producer Michael Markowitz notes: "Dammit, Hollywood" was originally written to be a theatrical trailer, a la "Roger Rabbit", to run before "Beavis & Butt-head do America" and/or "Howard Stern's Private Parts." It was also supposed to star Willis, Schwarzenegger and Stallone as themselves. We came a lot closer to making the three voices come true than we did the trailer, which fell victim to studio bureaucracy.
  • This episode establishes that the Duckman family live in California
  • Considered by fans to be the worst episode of the series.


In their tirade against Duckman, Willis, Stallone and Schwarzenegger have destroyed the restaurant that was to be unveiled. Stallone: It was just millions of dollars wasted on something with no real purpose but to make more millions of dollars. Schwarzenegger: Ja, just like our movies.