Synopsis[]
After Cornfed proves a claim from the TV show "Unsolved Mysteries" was false, Duckman becomes determined to prove the existence of aliens. Recalling an alien-themed pornographic video his uncle showed to him as a child, Duckman believes his uncle was arrested for possessing proof of extra terrestrial existence, though he was actually arrested for sexually abusing him. With the help of a mysterious two-headed informative, Duckman thinks he may have found what he's been looking for.
Plot[]
TBA
Characters (in order of appearance)[]
Canon Characters[]
- Ajax
- Duckman
- Grandma-ma
- Bernice
- Cornfed
- Charles and Mambo
- Fluffy and Uranus
- Duckman's Uncle (unnamed, but slightly resembles Uncle Mo)
Comic-Specific Characters[]
- Theomolena Decrepit
- Girl Scout
- Rubber Sack
- Dormon Fent
- Delta Fent
- Bill Clinton
- Entitled Mother and Her Son
- Alien Overlords
Duckman's Rant[]
Entitled Mother: The irresponsibility of you media people sickens me! My little Billy saw your segment on that poor girl scout and tried to set his sister on fire. How dare you air something like that? I'm going to sue! My little girl could have been killed because of you!
Duckman: Hold it, Cornfed. I see an injustice taking place.
Duckman: HEY YOU! What the hell gives you the right to blame television for your bad parenting, huh?
Entitled Mother: I can't be everywhere.
Duckman: Don't give me THAT! If you can't have more of an impact on your child's behavior than some lousy box full of electronics—YOU'RE the one who should be sued! And as long as we're on the subject, I think I'd like to address all the viewers everywhere! That's right—Mr., Mrs. and Ms. America! How come it's always "It's TV's fault my kid set fire to the house?" or "Those kids never would have lied down in traffic if it wasn't for that movie?" Why don't you jackals ever compliment media on all the GOOD it does? What about all the ENTERTAINMENT we provide? The thought-provoking material? The feelings we invoke? The moral code we disseminate? You idiots wouldn't know a misdemeanor from a cardinal sin if it wasn't for us! Why don't you ever say, "Gee, thanks, I didn't realize how close our government was to being dominated by the NRA?" or "Hey, I never knew how to smuggle nuclear material before!" If you want to be respected as intelligent human beings, take some RESPONSIBILITY for yourselves and don't ask to be treated like SHEEP!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to my search for alien porn!
Extras[]
