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Married Alive is the second episode of second season.

Married Alive
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Season 2, Episode 2

Air Date:

March 18th, 1995

Written By:

Bernie Keating

Directed By:

Raymie Muzquiz


Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W.


Days of Whining and Neurosis


Bernice returns home with news that she is getting married to a self-made billionaire who plans to take her and the kids away with him to Europe, leaving Duckman alone. However Duckman soon uncovers his evil plan to mutilate the human race and exploit his family. 


  • First main role of Bernice
  • The episode makes mention of Jason Voorhies of the Friday the 13th series when Duckman whines that Charles and Mambo complained about a knife weilding man in a hockey mask outside their bedroom window.
  • A very rare episode where Cornfed is not on Duckman's side, and was not doing so for Duckman's own good.
  • During Bernice's flashback with Baron Von Dillweed on the beach, a bag labeled O.J with a knife sticking out washes ashore.
  • Near the middle of the episode, while Duckman and Bernice are shopping, the song that plays in "Gripes of Wrath" during the Utopian future was originally playing.

Main Characters

First Appearences


(Putting away some garbage reveals Grandmama) Charles&Mombo: (points) There's Grandmama! Bernice: Duckman, am I to understand you misplaced Grandmama for the entire weekend? Duckman: Absolutely Not! I knew she was somewhere near the coffee grounds.

Duckman: What I don't get is why marry Bernice!? Dilweed: MONEY!!! You fool. My assitant told me I'd appeal more to the public if I got married and had kids. Bernice:(Outraged) WHAT!!? YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRYING ME BECAUSE I REMINDED YOU OF YOUR MOTHER!!! That and the fact I could split coconuts with my thighs.

Duckman: Look, Bernice, I hate to prick your balloon… Bernice: Duckman, I believe the phrase is "burst your bubble." Duckman: I know. I just like to say "prick" whenever I can. Prick. Prick prick prick. Prick prick prick prick prick. (Duckman starts singing "prick" repeatedly to the tune of "Camptown Races.")