"That's Us" is a song featured in the season 4 episode "Duckman and Cornfed in 'Haunted Society Plumbers'".
It is performed by Duckman and Cornfed as part of their comedy routine while trying to stall Mrs. Worthington-Ford's unveiling of the Sharon Stone.
This is a series original song. The music was by Scott Wilk and Todd Yvega, with lyrics being by Michael Markowitz (credited as Michael "Markowitz" Markowitz in the opening credits).
Lyrics[]
Mrs. Worthington-Ford: [speaking] It is finally time to meet tonight's real guest of honor—one of the most exquisite treasures...
[Cornfed moves her out of the way]
What the...?
Cornfed: [speaking, imitating Dean Martin] I wouldn't say exquisite, but who am I to argue?
Thank you, folks. Thank you for coming tonight to honor a lovely lady, Mrs. Worthington-Ford.
Mrs. Worthington-Ford: [titters]
Cornfed: Before she unveils the diamond, I'd like to do a love song just for her.
[harp music plays, then Duckman interrupts with loud drums, making the audience laugh]
Duckman: [speaking, imitating Jerry Lewis] Ya screwed up, huh?
Cornfed: Me? Exactly what are you doing?
Duckman: I'm playing the drums.
Cornfed: Boy, the way you do it, that ain't play; that's work.
Duckman: Oh, yeah? I know how to play Tiffany.
Cornfed: You mean "timpani."
Duckman: You play what you want, I'll—
Duckman and Cornfed: Play what I want.
Cornfed: Hey, get over here.
Duckman: [babbles as he foolishly makes his way over to Cornfed]
Cornfed: We're trying to do a love song and you're banging away.
What's all that banging got to do with love?
Duckman: [opens his mouth to say something crude]
Cornfed: [closing Duckman's mouth] Never mind.
Maybe we should just sing.
Duckman: [speaking normally] I thought you'd never ask.
Hit it!
Cornfed: [singing] Like rifles and skeet,
Cement and concrete
Like trick and treat,
Buck and wheat,
Dunn and Bradstreet,
That's us
Buddy, that's us
Duckman: [singing] Like apples and jacks
Like caddies and shacks
Like hay and stacks
And hunch and backs
And turtles and wax,
That's us
Buddy, that's us
Duckman and Cornfed: We always go together
It's just how we belong
No matter what the weather
Duckman: Right or wrong
Cornfed: We get along
Duckman and Cornfed: Just singin' our song!
Like fiddle and sticks
Like mocha and mix
Like ice and picks
And lip and sticks
And contra and dicts
That's us
Buddy, that's us
Like Gaza and Strip
Potato and chip
Like roach and clip
"Q" and tip
Skinny and dip,
That's us
Buddy, that's us—
It really is!
Cornfed: Like witch and hazel
Duckman: Post and nasal
Cornfed: Back and sliding
Duckman: Cock and fighting
Cornfed: High and mighty
Duckman: Gal and Friday
Cornfed: Egg and timer
Duckman: Opp and heimer!
[pauses]
Cornfed: "Opp and heimer"?
Duckman: ... Eh...
Duckman and Cornfed: That's us!
Duckman: That's right!
Duckman and Cornfed: Baby, that's us—
It really is!
That's us!
Buddy, that's us!
Trivia[]
- Duckman and Cornfed performed this routine (or one similar) a year prior for the Duckman Detective Agency Employee Talent Competition.
- They lost to Uranus for their performance as a character named Liza, which even Duckman surprisingly states deserved first place over his own performance.
- This song seems to serve in relation to the song "The Road to Dendron", as both of them are meant to imitate classic musical comedy duos.